Saturday, 24 July 2010

Sudden onset planephobia?, or what...

Does it come as any surprise that one should become scared of flying?

Obviously when you spend many hours in a plane every year for years on end one must at some time realise that although the odds of anything untoward happening to the particular flight you are on/going to be on are supposedly infinitesimally small they must shorten with every new airborne sortie...

Even with all the pre flight checks and safety proceedures, even with hightened security at airports and on the planes themselves, there is always the possibility of an unknown element, a serendipitous mischance, a gremlin in the works.

Is this why there seems to be a new found reluctance for certain persons to venture across the pond?

Certain persons, who until recently were forever popping backwards and forwards across the briny to the USof A. Persons who may be considered to be seasoned travellers suddenly developing a simultaneous aversion to flight!!....?

Can there be another explanation?

Can there be any other reason why these people should so suddenly not wish to be in the company of their old friends and colleagues? Surely not!!

These old friends only want a little chat...nothing too serious...just a few outstanding questions need answering...

Is this any cause for fear...

My guess is that they know that it is and are reluctant , not to fly, but to set foot in the jurisdiction of the USofA who are renowned for their hospitality to people they think may be able to help their enquiries. Even keeping some of such people in luxurious hotels in the tropics for years on end  and to prevent any hint of boredom setting in even go to the extraordinary extent of flying their guests to other hotels around the world for periods of R&R.

I wonder if these certain persons have come to the realisation that biting the hand that puts your poodle snacks in your dish is a very silly thing to do, especially when that hand belongs to a feeder that,
a) doesnt like poodles, 
b)only kept the poodle whilst it was in the prime of life and able to service the keepers wishes, and 
c) not only owns guns (lots of them) but actively likes going around blasting the bejasus out of small furry animals for the fun of it!!!

Ooooo poodlekins, I really hope for your sakes that there is NO skeleton buried in your flower bed...I really hope that you are blameless (as if) in this instance, for remember the keeper was happy enough to go off to WAR on the strength of a very flimsy dossier of dodgy claims not so long ago...and who knows what they have been told recently concerning certain things with a Libian flavour...

Oh I do so hope that you will all be extraordinarily renderred, I do so hope that they will waterboard the 'truth' out of you.

It probably will not happen, but I for one will go to bed with a happy little smile on my face thinking of you cowardly bastards bricking it at the thought that your game may have completely unravelled on you...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAAAAAA!!!!

I shall dream sweet dreams tonight, hahahahahaaaa!

Hey why don't you blame your inability to fly on BA strikes or volcanic ash, or just admit to having no cajones!!

4 comments:

fraser said...

It has put a rye smile on my face Indy.

Indyanhat said...

Rye being the operative word eh mate!
Cheers!

James Higham said...

I don't like flying but don't mind bobsled or rugby.

Indyanhat said...

I would have a go at tonysledding, preferably with a four man team jumping on his back to descend the cresta run!